Monday, June 20, 2005

Reflecting in the Shallow Water

Do you remember us? We’d cry in movies and punch you in the arm if you made fun of us for doing so. maybe not verse or prose, but we always said something really funny. No one knew until much later how good we gave head as it was never really a consideration. Like getting head from your sister. We might not have cooked much, but we’d split whatever we had down the middle with you, remember to put water in the vase and smile at the pretty colors, and understood you better than almost anyone you ever knew.

We were ‘one of the guys’.

Quick to smile, tell a dirty joke or laugh heartily at one told to us. No one thought about our sexual proclivities. You had no idea how much we wanted... you.

We were one of the buds. We smuggled tequila into band camp and snuck out to drink it with you in the woods. We weren’t afraid of bugs or getting dirty and we played footbal in your front yard with you until we were hot and sweaty and out of breath. We didn’t get breasts until after high school. We probably helped introduce you to that cute girl you lusted after or the girl you ended up marrying, and swallowed hard when you kissed her in front of us.

We never forgot you.

So flash forwrd to now and you run into one of us... we’re older, womanly, confident, brave, independent... quick to smile, grab a drink and relive the old days a bit and then disappear into whatever we ended up doing with our lives. Trying to ignore your offhand comment of ‘wow, you sure turned out pretty!’ You never considered why you didn’t go for us back then.

Ex Tomboys. We never forgot you.

And every now and then, when no one is around, we allow ourselves to ponder “What if?”

And we swallow really hard and ignore the sting of tears that we won’t allow to fall.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

..that's a page right out of my diary!

Hey Jolene *waves* Love your stuph!

L80o n3LL (flickr)

James Scolari said...

jolene, i love love love this... way better than the original!

MrsPissed said...

fabulous,j.
the truth rings like a bell

MrsPissed said...

oh, i'll be dropping in on him for a little visit this week.
i'm DONE with his crap. he's not answering my calls, either. fucking childish.
like i've been saying, a day or two in jail could possibly be quite refreshing.

Ms. Entropy said...

Damn, Jolene. Really good stuff. Thanks for this.