Tyler and the Tree

Tyler and the Tree, originally uploaded by OldhaMedia.

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The Holidays... What's a Pagan to do when wished a "Merry Christmas"?

People get reflective this time of year... Our culture has conditioned people to think that a year actually means something - like it's a definite 'end' to a tangible thing. In a strange way, it could be viewed as a little death. Death of the old year... So there's a tendency to try and make amends before the end. They see a year as a complete and final thing, rather than another loop in the spiral of life.

Time
Now this whole theory of mine is also predicated on the subjectivity of Time. People have placed this bizarre importance on the concept of time, and Modern People worry about time to nanseconds. Time (measuered time, that is) only exists in the imaginations of people. Does it really matter if it's Friday or December or 10:18 EST? No, not really. So the Wheel of the Year rolls forward and we go on living a little more.

So we (I'm speaking of Pagans, in general) celebrate the full moon, the dark moon, the eqinoxes, the solstices, the harvests, the seasons... we celebrate the events of life. And since we are modern people as well, we keep track of those events using Time... clocks, calendars, an ephemeris to track the stars. There's nothing wrong with that. It's a common denominator so we an agree to make plans to get together.

So my point is, is that Time doesn't really matter. BUT... Modern People have attached all these traditions and dogma around Time.

Greetings
I get the emails from aquaintances, and some I never speak to during the rest of the year. But, a friend - well, an old co-worker I was friendly with several jobs ago - sends me jokes on a fairly regular basis... and never anything personal. It's not like I can call this guy and ask if he'll pick me up at the airport, but I remember him fondly. Once he sent me an email that said something like "I may send you jokes, but never talk to you, but I do this because I remember you, I like you and the thought of you makes me smile... I send the jokes because I want to do the same for you." You know, from some people, it's enough to know that I am remembered.

Gifts
The politics of gift giving are another can of worms altogether... The whole idea of a deadline oriented gift exchange enrages me. It advertisers and marketers playing on your sense of obligation and guilt to buy more and more things to prove A: you love someone and/or B: to make you feel better about yourself because the gifts you give are superior to the gifts that others give.

I would rather give something I've made with love to a friend whenever the mood strikes me (or the thing I've made is finished). Or, lacking the skills to make a particular item, buying a gift for someone because I know that they would really appreciate it or needed it... and that would mean because I know that person well enough to know that the gift is completely suitable.

You'll read tips from 'experts' giving advice about stockpiling little nothing gifts for unexpected guests, so you're never caught 'emptyhanded'. I think this is pretty ridiculous. It's not about a gift EXCHANGE! I like you. I thought you would like this. I'm giving it to you because I want you to be happy. PERIOD. Their happiness at receiving should be reciprocation enough. You don't expect a gift back at a wedding or birthday, do you? Giving thoughtless gifts puts everyone in the uncomfortable position of 'but I didn't get you anything.' And that feeds the consumer machine of guilt and obligation. EXPECTING a gift is obscene.

New Years
When people say 'Happy New Year' to me, generally I'll say it back just because it's easier than launching into a diatribe about Time being subjective... but sometimes my reply is 'Happy New Calendar!' If asked about it, I'll simply say, 'time is subjective, it doesn't really mean anything, does it?' and smile... mostly because it just leaves them with a puzzled look and the feeling I've just said something really profound.

Holiday Season
It is nice to get together with family and loved ones and celebrate that we have these connections with each other, but it shouldn't be a chore or an obligation or something you dread. People are social animals and we need the connections of the pack/clan/family/tribe. The pressures of the deadline (another encroachment of Time) makes it miserable for many of us. People used to celebrate together because of joint efforts... a hunt, a harvest, a birth... even a death will bring people together. But now, Modern People don't hunt, we don't harvest... the occasions to come together are no longer there, but the need to connect with our fellows is still ingrained in us.

Merry Christmas!
When people say it to me, I respect that it is their tradition to say this and in return I will reply "I hope you have a wonderful holiday!" And I mean it with all sincerity. One day, I will wish someone a Happy Samhain or Blessed Beltane, and they will wish that I have a lovely holiday - and be sincere about it... Well, maybe not this lifetime, but I like to think we're moving towards it.

People do tend to think too much around this time of year. But maybe that's not always a bad thing. Maybe it's a step towards thinking more the rest of the time. Maybe we can only hope to change people's thinking a little at a time, and maybe only through example.

Whatever day it might be, whatever time of year, I wish you all love, health, beauty and plenty of joy.

Jolene

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